Rena Likes to Eat Live Mice
by loneUnslinger
Summary: Chapter 3 is UP! Read or listen to crunchy cheese!
1. Happy turtles don't

Rena Likes to Eat Live Mice Part One  
  
Rena walks down the stars to see westa drunk and boating on the Arlia River, nothing out of the ordinary, really. She decides to take a walk in the shingo forest before going to visit Claude. She strolls right past Cecile's corpse, which, for no real reason at all, hasn't finished decomposing yet. No one cares. There is peace all throughout the forest, well except for the funnythieves and other weak monsters trying to murder every living thing. There is also a dead kitten strapped around Rena's neck, which is also nothing out of the ordinary.  
  
Then, she trips and falls down a barney hole, magically transporting her to the world of stress and alarm. Obviously she is quite alarmed, and all of the alarm is rather stressing, don't you think? Well, anyway, it looks just like shingo forest, except everything is a very bad shade of pink. SUDDENLY and out of NOWHERE there came a very ALARMING sound and an even more ALARMING bird. It was the DREADED CELL PHONE PARAKEET! But this is really nothing out of the ordinary for Rena as she comes here regularly to do her laundry. She hands the DREADED CELL PHONE PARAKEET her stained clothing and an elixir and skips off back into the world of calm and happiness.  
  
She returns to her favorite forest feeling calm and relaxed. She sits for a while and watches the butterflies (Which she KNOWS aren't really butterflies at all, but really pairs of two dimensional floating eyeballs DISGUISED as butterflies) flutter about the flowers. She suddenly realizes she was supposed to meet Claude over an hour ago! She screams in anguish and then, completely over it, decides to just continue to watch the butterflies for a while. She knew that if she didn't keep the butterflies in check, they might someday try to conquer the world.  
  
She wouldn't have that. World domination was her department. She had always dreamed of taking over the world. Now she was the ruler of the continent of El and really didn't know what to do with the stink-hole. One day she go extremely bored and decided to blow it up. It really was kind of fun, but she had not realized that she had also destroyed most of Lacour with tidal waves and other nasty aftereffects of blowing up a whole country. She however was unscathed, because she had one of her aides destroy El for her. Rena was high and dry, and currently trying to wrench the throne from those two songbirds, Celene and Chris.  
  
Suddenly, her train of thought was interrupted and crashed into the moon and killed all of the people who happened to live on it. It was the DREADED CELL PHONE PARAKEET. It muttered something about an elixir and she tossed it one. It nodded happily and regurgitated clean and stainless clothes. She thanked it and her left hand fell off for no reason at all. She shrugged it off and bandaged her arm, carrying her laundry home. Throwing the laundry at her mom, she accidentally kills her. Chisato then falls out of the sky for no real purpose and kills a baby seal. 


	2. McDonalds: The Reckoning

Rena Likes to Eat Live Mice Part Two of Bleh  
  
Chisato is looking up at the sky and wondering why she should suddenly fall out of it, and not be falling into it. These were very silly thoughts and even more silly to be sitting in a pile of seal flesh and thinking of such things. Stunned, she surveyed the area. Seal guts.Regis and Westa making out in a boat.a very pissed off Rena.and a barrel filled to the brim with live chickens.wait.go back.something about.Pissed Off Rena. Oh crap. Well, then. Chisato, after sitting dazed for about five minutes, finally decides to get up out of the seal gut crater. Rena shoots her a look and then starts to whistle the doom song for some reason.  
  
Before she could realize what was happening, Rena had already clawed her to death.  
  
***  
  
Looking up from the bloody mess that was Chisato, Rena had a rather disturbing sense of satisfaction that she had one rival out of the way. She had many rivals. (Which for her was any other sentient being in the Galaxy) The only person who really was not a rival for her is Claude. (As I said. SENTIENT beings) Oh how she dreamed of the day they would exchange their marriage cows. She was already hinting at which one she wanted (the emerald studded solid gold cow was her favorite) and was sure he would be in her grasp very soon.  
  
She loved to kill. After the whole ten wise men ordeal, she was rather tired of healing people and needed a change of pace. She found that in world domination. So far, she had Arlia in her grasp, and almost had El as well. (She destroyed it with the force of sheer boredom) She had my agents planted in the governments of Cross and Lacour. That wench Celene not only has taken the throne with Chris, but has her sights on Lacour as well, now. She couldn't have anyone moving in on her territory. Old friends they may be, but that's not going to get in the way of either of their ambitions.  
  
She would leave in the morning for Cross Castle to deal with this matter personally. All of her assassins had failed miserably. She hurried back to bed to get a good night's sleep. She would need it.  
  
Awakened by her Bo-omb patented exploding alarm clock, she ate a blueberry to repair the damage and stepped outside. It was a beautiful morning. Or would be if all of these human tourists had let up. A scout found the planet expel shortly after the ordeal and marketed it as a nice relaxing place to stay the summer. Needless to say, it bolstered the planet's economy and helped along some technological advancements, but hearing, "Where is Expelo-Disneyland from here" more than five times a day can be a bit unnerving. She hopped on a barney and galloped into the sunset.  
  
Upon arriving at Cross, she was welcomed by a sign with large friendly letters saying: "Crossland, a new Six Flags theme park coming soon!" No one would turn her continent into a theme park! Not even Six Flags! Rena jumped the fence and went inside the town. It was entirely deserted. Well, except for the castle, which was lit up like a Christmas tree.  
  
Rena, approaching the castle in a very un-ninja-like manner, bumps into Ernest. Looking up, she is surprised to see a crow with a bright rainbow wig, pecking his third eye out and screeching something about French poodles. 


	3. Final Bird Game EX PLUS Extreme!

Chapter 3: FInal Bird Game EX PLUS Extreme!

  


In reaction to this, Rena RIPS the wig off the crow to expose that it is really not a crow, but a baby-seal assassin. She blows it up with magic toothpicks and gathers up the remains. Finally noticing Ernest again, she sets about finishing the seal's work. Ernest thanks her and then hangs himself with his whip. Rena then starts throwing the seal guts at him, afterwards putting up a sign that says: NEW ATTRACTION. That'll show those chickens who eats who's liver. But then she starts feeling depressed because I am considering turning this into a drama BUT NO I'M JUST KIDDING AND SHE IS HAPPY KILL BOT. Continuing toward the castle, she looks back with absolutely no regrets. And then she eats a yam. The yam was not actually a yam, but a sweet potato. No, it was a yam.

I'm confused.

Bursting into the castle, she returns to her solid form (she was water but I didn't tell you). Lunging toward the throne (Which was recently moved to the first floor. Funny story about that.), she shouts defiantly, "YOU'LL EAT YOUR WATER FOR WORDS, CAPTAIN CRUNCH!!!!", and tackles the air. After a long luxurious bath, she decides that she would have to find the wench elsewhere. Mars was the most likely place, she deduced LIKE A PLAYSTATION 2 DUAL SHOCK CONTROLLER. She jumped on a barney, and after a few hours, decided to leave as just sitting on a giant bunny rabbit is not very fun and doesn't do much to further her goal. A man in a pink Bikini stared at her.

Upon arriving at the new market (the old one was shut down BECAUSE I SAID SO) she bought a carrot and yelled at it for a while. Then she made paper airplanes and flew them into Precis and Ashton's eyes because they were going to shoot lasers at her. After sitting on the ground trying to remember what it was that she was actually doing, she just killed everyone, even Claude. Then she put on Santa's clothes and ate rotten sashimi and died but then everyone is revivied cause IT HAS TO HAVE A HAPPY ENDING.

THE END


End file.
